I'm sorry for my lack of posts lately, I've come to that stage in every bloggers life where I've realised I'm spending far too much time writing about what I'm doing and far too little time actually doing!
It's time to come clean and admit that when I started blogging one of my motivations was to advertise and promote my 'work'. But this fell by the wayside pretty swiftly, I got totally drawn into all of your stories and work and homes and lives. And I love that, I love being part of that. I love being able to see what crazy, beautiful scheme Vanessa's on to in Arizona, and where Risa's been lately or what miniature lovely Desiree's been making in Holland, and Kitty Thimble, just around the corner, a few miles from me, always makes me laugh out loud with her anarchic posts, even though we've never met.
But these things can kind of take over and I think my virtual life has subsumed my real one! I've been incredibly inspired and motivated by the God-Mothers of blogging through whom I was introduced to this fabulous world of beautiful interiors, seductive photography and gorgeous, extraordinary art and craft. Following my favourite blogs is like reading the best magasine in the world! But, at the same time, I also find myself somewhat over-awed and intimidated by the perfect beauty of this world. When I give into my insecurities and personal feelings of inadequacy, trying to keep up with the blogging Joneses can be incredibly time-consuming and ultimately deflating.
To be honest although I might try to project an image of perfect parenthood, I make my kids wait (for far too long) for a share in my attention. They watch far more television than I would ever have hoped or intended, just so I can spend time on the computer.
My house is constantly a complete mess. Here are some 'corners of my home' (not for the faint-hearted!) to prove it:
Part of me suspects that no-one will visit my blog if I show my warts-and-all reality. (And I'd really miss you all). In real life I'm slovenly, lazy, messy, hot-tempered, irritable, self-absorbed and selfish. This isn't all I am, but it's a significant part of me which I would never dream of letting you see.
Add to all this my 'career' is non-existent, and at 34, time is ticking on!
So I've done a kind of life stock-take and decided to spend more 'quality' time (naff phrase but it really sums it up) with my family and friends, keep on top of my share of the house-work a bit more (well, maybe get a brave cleaner!), focus more attention on making and selling my work and take more steps to get myself started on the teaching career I want. (Phew!)
Therefore, I'm going to limit my blogging time to one mornings reading and one bumper post a week (it's a shame they don't make patches or gum for the withdrawal symptoms, I'm already getting twitchy!). I know this isn't the accepted way to blog, I know it's considered to be a bit lax to post occasionally, but maybe I'll actually have more to post about if I spend more time on other things!
In the meantime, I've included some photos of drawings I've been working on for my next apron, just as a kind of antidote to the other shots!
So I'll see you next Thursday, if you're brave enough to return, no more 'corner of my home' pictures, I promise!